Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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