oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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