tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That accounts for only three of the penises
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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