Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
