I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
