): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
