Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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