Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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