$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
