I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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