Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
