I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
