so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
