Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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