does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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