I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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