I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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