He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
