I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
