he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
