so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
