there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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