whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
