Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
