so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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