I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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