I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
