One girl and one boy is just not enough.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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