I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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