Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
