I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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