me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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