I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
