Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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