OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
