You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
