I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
