A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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