It's Friday. Sex?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
