She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Someone shit on the floor
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
