If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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