I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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