I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
