Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
