do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
