Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
