After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
