There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
