dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
