Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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