turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize