oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
