why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
