It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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