The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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