im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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