Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
