btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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