at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
