You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
