To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
