He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize