I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
