the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
